10 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR FAMILY AROUND THE TABLE
If you have visited my wall you may have read an old post about my attending a TED conference and my singing the praises of TED Talks. I am a huge fan!
This post is based on the writings of 2015 TED Prize winner and StoryCorps founder Dave Isay. It was posted last Thanksgiving as an exercise to deepen the ties between family and friends around the dinner table. When I recently came across this, I decided to ask these questions to my husband and what a surprise. I learned so many things I never knew about my partner of thirty-one years!
So, why am I posting this on Carol’s Wall? Please know that I am not recommending asking these questions to your child! I am sharing this with you because what struck me about this post is that I do not think I ever thought about questions like these when I was raising my children. I can remember trying to instill lessons about life, good character development, the value of hard work and trying my best to make them happy. I never thought about how my parenting would impact their lives in the long run.
In retrospect, I think if I thought more about these questions, I may have been a bit more in the moment. What I remember about my child rearing was that I was often so busy playing catch-up. There are little do-overs in life. It would have been helpful during these years to be more aware of the things I was grateful for, proud of, what I learned from my mistakes (sharing that grown-ups make mistakes is so important!) and spoke with my children about them.
I share these questions with you now as an opportunity. Although our lives are so hectic and filled with work and chores and activities, keeping these in mind might help you to stay in the moment. How do YOU want to be remembered?
10 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR FAMILY AROUND THE TABLE
What are you grateful for?
What are you proudest of?
What’s been the happiest moment of your life so far?
What’s been the hardest moment of your life, and how did you get through it?
What are the most important lessons you’ve learned in life?
How would you describe yourself as a child? Were you happy?
Who has been kindest to you?
How do you want to be remembered?
If your great great-grandchildren could listen to this years from now: Is there any wisdom you’d want to pass on to them? What would you want them to know?
If you could honor one person in your life — living or dead — by listening to their story, who would that be; what would you ask them and why?
With the winter holiday almost upon us and the gift giving about to begin, I thought it would be nice to share a children’s picture book list, just in case you might want to do some holidays gift giving or use the holidays as an opportunity to enrich your home library.
Originally, I thought I would share a little list of children’s books but I soon found out, when it comes to children’s books, no list is a small one. It got very difficult to stop adding books to this list! Our annual Read-a-Thon will begin in March. I will take that opportunity to elaborate on the book list then.
In the interest of organization, I have put the books into categories to make selection easier.
Extra Yarn and Sam and Dave Dig a Hole, by Mac Barnett and Jon Klassen
Froodle and Not a Box, by Amy Portis
Interrupting Chicken and Ol’ Mama Squirrel, by David Ezra Stein
Knuffle Bunny, by Mo Willems
Oh No George! by Chris Haughton
Spoon and Chopsticks, by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Stuck and The Day the Crayons Quit, by Oliver Jeffers
Duck! Rabbit! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Press Here and Mix It Up, by Herve Tullet
Tap the Magic Tree, by Christie Matheson
The Monster at the End of this Book, by Jon Stone and Michael Smollin
Warning, Do Not Open This Book! by Adam Lehrhaupt and Matthew Forsythe
New York, NY:
And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson
Blackout, by John Rocco
I Live In Brooklyn, by Mari Takabayashi
My New York, by Kathy Jacobson
Subway, by Christopher Neimann
The Curious Garden, by Peter Brown
Do You Know Which One Will Grow, by Susan A. Shea
Maps, by Aleksandra Mizielinska and Daniel Mizielinska (for grow-ups and kids too!)
Me, Jane, by Patrick McDonnell
Owls and Birds
Birds, by Kevin Henkes
Little Owl Lost, by Chris Haughton
Little Owl's Night, by Divya Srinivasan
Mama Built a Little Nest, by Jennifer Ward
Owl Babies, by Martin Waddell
The Best Nest, by P.D. Eastman
So Sweet Stories:
Cloudette, by Tom Lichtenheld
Gaston, by Kelly DiPucchio
How to Heal a Broken Wing, by Bob Graham
Kittens First Full Moon and My Garden, by Kevin Henkes
Little Pea. by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
Maple, by Lori Nichols
Sophie’s Squash, by Pat Zielow-Miller
Winter and Holiday:
How the Grintch Stole Christmas, by Dr. Seuss
Stick Man, by Judith Donaldson
The Magic Dreidels: A Hanukkah Story, by Eric Kimmel
The Snowy Day, by Ezra Jack Keats
Classics no Children’s Bookshelf Should be Without:
A Fish Out of Water, by Helen Palmer
A Chair for my Mother, by Vera B. Williams
Are You My Mother, by P.D. Eastman
Blueberries for Sal, by Robert McCloskey
Caps for Sale, by Esphyr Slobodkina
Chicken Soup with Rice, by Maurice Sendak
Corduroy, by Don Freeman
Harry the Dirty Dog, by Gene Zion
Make Way for Ducklings, by Robert McCloskey
Swimmy, by Lio Lionni
The Story of Ferdinand, by Munro Leaf
There are classic children’s games, picture books and toys that stand the test of time. At CHP, one of those vintage toys that made a resurgence is the jack-in-the-box.
I have many books, puppets, and jack-in-the-boxes in my office. My first boxes were cast-offs from my children. By accident, I found this toy to be a great way to soothe a crying child during phase-in. We would sit on my couch and out came a box and the magic. Children who wandered into my office wanted to play with the boxes too and due to their popularity, I purchased more. At this writing, I have seven. The boxes sit on a kid-sized shelf in my office for easy access.
Why the focus on this old fashioned toy? I found that there is a lot of learning in that Pop Goes the Weasel playing box! Students look through my child-sized office window and knock when they want to play. Children who enter my office and find that they cannot just take a box, they need to speak with me first. I have modeled what each child needs to do to borrow a box: First make eye contact with me and say, “Carol, may I please borrow a jack-in-box?” I answer, “Of course, but when you finish playing with it, please bring it back.”
This simple dialog teaches a child if you want something that belongs to someone else, you need to make eye contact and ask for it politely. It is my hope that this little exercise will be applied again in other situations when a child needs to ask someone for something. I have overheard some children speaking to their friends who have never borrowed a box, explaining what they need to say to borrow one. They have become the teachers.
The children also learn that there are times when you can and cannot come into my office to borrow. On my door, at the children’s eye level, there is a two-sided sign. One side says, “It is NOT a jack-in-the-box day and the word NO. The image of the jack-in-the-boxes has an “X” through it. The flip-side of the sign says, “It IS a jack-in-the-box day” and the word YES. Students have learned to read this sign! I also created a little book, now located in the reading area, which tells, with words and pictures, how to borrow a jack-in-the-box. The children enjoy leafing through the book and listening to it when it is read by a teacher.
The jack-in-the-box has more play and learning opportunities. It is a great fine-motor activity; children need to figure out the way to turn the crank and use a pincher grip to make it play. I have observed children turning the crank very slowly about the time they expect it to spring open. I believe they are making predictions. When will it pop? No matter when the little character pops up, it is a happy surprise. CHP kids really like to do this activity with friends, and games have evolved from this. Who can make their box pop first, or last. I have also observed children negotiating turn taking, hearing things like, “When you are done, can I please use it?” As we always say in CHP, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” If the jack-in-the-box you want is in use, next time it just might be your turn. At the end of play, children know it is their responsibility to return the box as that was the promise they made when they first borrowed it.
Because of this experience, I wonder if a single jack-in-the-box in your home would garner the same popularity as it has in CHP? My first boxes came to CHP in pretty good shape because they were seldom played with.
Whether in singular or group play, a toy is great when it is well played with. The more it’s played with, the more wear and tear. At this writing, Max the Wild Thing is nearing the end of his shelf life as he is not working so well anymore. I think that is the best thing you can say about the life of a toy is … it was well used. Wild Thing boxes are no longer produced but have no fear, I ordered a new box last week… hint, think Puff the Magic Dragon!
October 21, 2014 · Categories: At Home, Child Development, Parenting